Why normal revision doesn't work for me

As I edge nearer and nearer to exam season, I see lots of other blogs posting about their favourite revision techniques, using colourful highlighters and funny games as they drag themselves through the rehashing of information that they're going to forget as soon as they leave the exam room. I love these techniques; they make everything accessible, and can really train your memory up to remember all the facts. Just one problem.

The subjects I do aren't factual.

Well. English Language sort of is. But even then, I still don't know what I'm going to get asked, and the only 'revision' that's really effective for that precious two and a half hours of controlled time is exam practice. Which involves essays. Lots of essays. And it's boring as heck.

Same with Drama, and English Lit. Half of it isn't even about the content, it's about the exam technique and how I "discuss" and "shape my ideas". And for most, that's not something that comes easy if you don't practice it. The consequence: practice question after practice question, essay after essay after essay. URGH. Why can't I do some fun quizzes, or some memory games, or even just something other than typing and typing and typing?

Luckily for me, the actual exam technique comes quite easily. Same with regurgitating the content. But only in timed conditions; I can focus way more easily if I only have two hours to write an essay and can focus solely on that, rather than an entire afternoon with Facebook, YouTube and other various social media one mouse-click away to distract me.

Not even music helps, which is a huge downer. There's so many wonderful mixes on YouTube, all their alpha waves and that 432hz thing that everyone thinks is a government conspiracy. I've tried having food and drink with me while I do it. I've tried doing handwritten essays on my bed instead. I've tried whacking my head against the wall and commanding myself to focus. Okay, maybe not that last one, but you catch my drift? I just can't do it!

It's better in school, where I've got the studying mindset and there are less distractions because everyone else is in the same boat. Even better in the exam hall when my mind knows it's in a pressurized situation and decides to kick into gear. But not at home, with my computer and my sketchpads and food and social networking and family and DISTRACTIONS.

Essay after essay. Homework after homework. Too repetitive. I'm seriously at the point now where I just want to get it over and done with and forget everything I've learnt in the past two years. Too bad as that doesn't come for another two and a half months. God give me strength. My brain's about to turn into mush from staring at a computer screen all day typing...and typing...and typing...

Ten slang terms that make zero sense

You think you've heard them all, you probably haven't.

As an English Language student, I'm forever discovering that our language evolves with time, and that it shifts and molds to fit the needs of the society it is spoken in. Some love this, and embrace the gems of creativity in the language. Others hate it and think we should all speak Queen's English all the time. I...well, I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm all for language changing and evolving but I think there are points where you need to define exactly what's appropriate; like, not dropping S-bombs with your teacher or your boss (not that I would drop an S-bomb as I don't tend to swear much), or watching that you write in standard English as opposed to text-talk if you want to be taken seriously. Hence why I dnt blog liek dis, its 2 mch liek the txts i sent wen i wz 12. Bravo if you could read that without hearing a whiny childish voice in your head, because I certainly couldn't.

What I don't mind too much is slang. Funny, because the word 'slang' is actually a blend of the phrase "shortened language". So slang is slang for slang. Isn't that brilliant? Of course you have to be conscious that not everyone has the same slang dictionary as you do, and while you delve into your wallet to find that precious fiver, the Australian on the other side of the world digs around for their Pink Lady.

I can already think of a few people in my world who would wince at the thought of a five-dollar note being referred to as a Pink Lady, as they may be pink, but they're not ladies; they're pieces of paper with monetary value. When you think about it logically, it stops making sense, as do many of the terms I am about to list. So enough of me blabbing... Let's begin.

1: "Sick!"

This one cheeses off my poor father no end. He can't understand why something amazing is referred to as, literally, ill. Can't say I don't agree with him, even though I use it quite a lot. And saying that I hang my head and go join my street brethren.

2: "Wicked!"

Another weird way of saying "great", even if it isn't used as much these days. You're saying something you like is evil, has a green face and rides on a broom singing 'Defying Gravity'?

3: "You're off your rocker!"

What rocker? What is a rocker anyway? Do I have one? Did I fall off it?

4: "S/he's FIT."

Okay, seriously, who the heck thought of this one? Yeah, s/he's healthy and physically able. Just like your PE teacher.

5: "Mint!"

This is the same as wicked and sick. You're basically saying something you like is a herb used in toothpaste and mojito drinks. Well, it does make your mouth cool... Hey, maybe I can coin a new phrase here! Cool as mint! ...No?

6: "Chill..."

No, I will not! I'd rather continue freaking out than freeze to death, thank you very much!!

7: "This is my jam!"

No. No it's not. It's music. It's not a fruit preserve. And it's probably not yours either. So SHUT UP.

8: "It's shark week..."

Some may know what this means and some may not, and it's one I use regularly. But dear me, if sharks attacked me for week I think I'd probably die. Oh wait. I do practically die during shark week. Never mind.

9: "Got dough?"

Yeah, it's baking in the oven, the bread'll be ready in an hour or so! What do you mean you'll pay me back?

10: "I'm feeling a bit salty."

Salty? Did you just get out of the sea or something?

Okay, okay, I'm in rant mode now, so I'll stop. There is nothing wrong with people who use these terms, and nothing wrong with the terms themselves. I use nearly all of them on a regular basis. I'm just questioning as to why we don't tend to have any slang terms that actually make logical sense. Like...here's an example. The sixth-form café/food kiosk at my school is called the Abbey Bite, and a few of us have just shortened it to the Bite. THAT makes sense. "Aw yeah blud, that's a sick jam, innit?" does not.

Why I don't want to be a teacher

I said it was coming, didn't I?

Ah, teaching. A profession that you either adore or absolutely despise, one that can make or break a student's future, and one that can leave parents and students alike either loving or hating you. It's a grueling position but one that is essential to the success of society; people rely on teachers to help them get the qualifications they need for the jobs they want to do. When successful, it's a truly rewarding career path. And I don't ever want to do it.

Please bear in mind that this is not an attack on teachers by any means - all my teachers throughout both my primary and secondary school career have been dedicated, enthusiastic and intent on helping me through my education. Well, all but a few. But I won't name and shame.

One of these wonderfully dedicated people is my current English Literature teacher, who is great, don't get me wrong. But you should have seen the look on his face when we were talking about career plans and not one of us said "English teacher". I don't think I've ever seen such disappointment. Even after that, he's (jokingly) adamant that one day all nine of us (two boys and seven girls) will be stood in front of a class of thirty kids trying in vain to get them to understand Hamlet and To Kill a Mockingbird (neither of which I've read by the way). Well, sorry, sir, but your efforts to persuade me will be in vain, for the reasons I am about to list. Numero uno...

1: Screaming kids.

You know what I'm talkin' about. I mentioned this in my last post. How do you calm down an entire classroom of kids that could be any age from four to sixteen and get them to concentrate when they seem to have twice the energy you have on a GOOD DAY? I HATE raising my voice, I HATE getting angry, and it'd probably break me having to discipline a bunch of students for talking too much instead of actually teaching them anything. Not to say every class is like this of course, but there's always that one student...

2: The impact on your LIFE.

My English Language teacher still hasn't managed to mark half my coursework. I would be angry, but who can blame him? They guy's got a baby and a four-year-old (who are adorable by the way), more than likely wants to make time to spend with his wife, and probably has five hundred other students' work to mark. Not to mention lesson plans, assessments, extracurricular stuff, and whatever else he has as part of his life. His job probably forces him to make a lot of sacrifices, and for me, I just don't think I would be prepared to make that kind of sacrifice. I have a creative mind that's always itching to do its own stuff, and if teacher duties were keeping ME awake until 10pm and stopping me from writing or drawing or chatting or spending time with my family, I'd object. Kudos to those who love this profession enough to dedicate their souls to it.

3: Pressure.

Ever felt like you just can't get the grade your teacher wants you to get? The worst instance of this was GCSE Maths; I somehow broke my way into the top set and was obtaining Bs and low As, when the rest of my class was frequently getting A-stars. I felt so out of place it was unreal, and when I was satisfied with a B on that practice paper, many of the higher-achievers would look at me like I was nuts while they cried over being one mark off an A-star. And instead of a "well done" from my teacher, all I got was "Alright, let's see what you can do to break into that A". Like, really?! Maths is and always has been my weakest subject, so I was pretty bummed out. I couldn't understand why what I was already capable of wasn't good enough. And my form tutor, bless her heart, was kind enough to explain to me that in the world of education, for some reason, if a student doesn't do well, everybody blames the teacher. Yep, a poor teacher could have a history of overachievers and models students, but when there's that one class that really grinds your gears, suddenly you're a bad teacher because half of them failed. Now I understand why teachers have to absolutely push you to your limits, and it's horribly horribly unfair. Again, I couldn't cope with that. Kudos to literally EVERYONE who can.

4: Educational secretaries that don't seem to realise that their policies don't make sense.

Thank goodness that plonker Michael Gove is off the scene. I will be the first to admit that when Nicky Morgan stepped into cabinet, I had high hopes - she's a working mum and seemed to understand what she was actually stepping into, unlike Gove who was stuck in a rut of the past and appeared to have no willingness or ability to move with the times. Now I'm no politics expert but apparently she's been a bit of a disappointment, and policies are ever-changing and getting progressively ridiculous. Something about teachers all getting sacked if a certain number of students don't pass something-or-other? Educate me on the subject in the comments, yeah?

I will be the first to admit that I don't like change. And at the rate the Government seems to be changing education left-right-and-centre, my head would be swimming with questions and I'd probably forget to plan a lesson. And then my students would suffer for it. Oopsies.

5: I worry too much.

No joke, I'd forever be worrying about whether the students love me, hate me, love the subject, hate the subject, love my lessons, hate my lessons, are gonna pass, are gonna fail, you name it, I'd probably be worried about it. I already have enough of these worries with the Year 8s in my Bible study group; am I giving them the right impression of Christianity? Am I being consistent? Am I presenting myself well as warm, approachable, that sort of thing? It's like trying to stay upright on a moving bus. Possible, but tricky. At least with the little group of about nine to twelve Year 8s, I've got people to help me, and the Christian journey is one that God can help with if someone stumbled along the way. But with teaching, I'd be way too frightened of messing up. Lessons would probably consist of me saying "don't kill me" quite a lot. Not exactly a good learning outlet.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not think that this is an attack on teachers (that sounds like a horrifically bad anime parody), the profession, schools in general...if you can get through all these things that would tick me off no end, you are amazing and I commend your efforts, noble people.

But sorry, Mr Keegan. I'm afraid you won't see me talking at the front of a classroom with a board pen in hand any time soon. Or ever, come to that.

The pet peeves of sixth-form

Yep, you heard me. SIXTH. FORM.

I'm at that stage in life where you're neither a kid nor an adult, and everyone expects you to act like an adult but for some reason treats you like a kid. It's a weird stage, and it's certainly in the middle of a transition; "Oh, she's only eighteen, she won't know any better!" vs "She's eighteen, she should know better." Just me? Anyway, this post isn't about the trials and tribulations of teenhood. This is about SIXTH FOOORMMM.

We all know the obvious ones (You're gonna miss this, you're gonna fail that, why haven't you put your life story in your personal statement) but it's not those that are the huge issue for me. I don't want to brag but unlike many I completely smashed Year 12 and somehow made myself seem awesome enough to be elected as Deputy Head Girl in Year 13. Nah, I'm talking about tiny, niggling, day-to-day issues that would make my sixth form experience far less frustrating and a lot more enjoyable, even if I am swamped with work. Anyway, enough of my babbling. Let's begin.

1: Heavy bags.

I can't be the only one who has this problem. I took three essay subjects - Drama, English Language and English Lit - so I suppose the weight of all those binders and books is a burden I brought upon myself. I've had to start using a large plastic bag to carry my Drama folder simply because it won't fit in my normal bag, and since I'm carrying around the script of a very hefty Greek play (Lysistrata by Aristophanes if you're interested) 50% of the time, my shoulder gets more than a little achy. And don't even get me started on kneeling down to pick something up off the floor and groaning in pain when standing up again, or becoming a human wrecking ball in small spaces. Eat your heart out, Miley.

2: Noisy and rough kids.

Forgive me for sounding like an old codger, but seriously, do they EVER calm down? I run a little Bible study group for Year 8s, and don't get me wrong, they're wonderful and I'd do anything for them any day. But the talking...and the yelling...and the pushing. It's ENDLESS. Sympathy goes out to everyone who deals with screaming kids on a daily basis. Honestly, how do they have that much energy? The amount of times I've had to call out Year 7s in the corridor for running and smashing into each other like bumper cars in case someone gets hurt...you'd think high school would take its toll on them and they'd mellow out. But no, that doesn't seem to happen until Year Nine. I suppose they grow big enough to realise that the school hallways aren't the vast and amazing tunnels they first thought they were in.

I could write a whole blog post about the reasons I don't want to be a teacher. This is one of them.

3: Teachers who don't understand the concept of prioritising.

This could in a way be categorised with the typical annoyances that sixth form brings, but I'm afraid I just have to touch upon it because I've experienced it more than once. One thing you should remember when doing A-levels: when a teacher says "You need to be managing your time effectively and completing work on time" what they really mean is "You need to be doing all my work over and above everything else". You have a Chemistry exam tomorrow afternoon that you need to revise for? Forget it, you're doing this 2000-word English essay on the influence and prestige of Shakespeare due tomorrow morning. And detention if you don't.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit here, but you catch my drift? The main tip here is you need to decide on your priorities for yourself. Don't let the teachers scare you into neglecting that Chemistry. Trust me, a detention won't show up on your records in the future. A failed A-level will.

4: Your last pen running out.

And not having enough money for new ones. UUUURRRRRGGGGHHHH.

5: Litter.

My school's probably a lot better than some in the city, but come on, people...bins exist for a reason! You really think causing a stinkarooney in the common room because of your dropped half-eaten egg sandwich is better than putting in a simple bit of effort to get up, walk a few metres and put it in the trash where it'll get taken away by the cleaners at the end of the day? Not to mention, because of litter dropped in the yard, we now have a troop of seagulls that like to glide around school at the end of break and lunchtime and scare the living daylights out of everyone while they look for dropped food. Get a grip!

Just me? Okay, maybe some of these problems are mine alone. But if anyone has the same struggles, please leave a comment so that we can despair about it together. Caz out.

The art of starting a blog

There are many reasons that one might start a blog. One might be that they wanted to because why the heck not. Another might be that they felt adventurous and wanted to try something new. Another still might be that someone told them they were good with words and they should do. Me? I was all three.

(In regards to that last reason...you have no idea what you've started, Rebekah.)

Now then...I suppose there's a trick to starting a blog. Something interesting and eye-catching to reel in the followers...oh, and there's also that thing where you have to keep posting a lot to make sure people don't lose interest. Hm. Let's see how I do with that one - procrastination queen right here.

There's also the issue of having interesting-enough things to talk about. Then again, that really shouldn't be too much of a problem, since I'm one of those lasses that has an opinion on literally everything and when I feel strongly about something, I will let the world know, probably on a Facebook status. Too bad since most of them are bound to get lost in Zuckerberg's big blue void. This is a MUCH better outlet.

What's that? I should say what I do? What, you mean other than sit at my computer and browse the internet?

I kid, I kid! Outside of the World Wide Web, I'm a British college student on the tail end of my A2s, and I'm taking English Language, English Literature and Drama. I recently applied to study Theatre and Performance at university, so give it a few months and you might call me a student blogger. I consider myself an aspiring writer, although in the past I've dabbled in acting and music, as well as comic art at one point (I think I'll let that one stay a hobby). Blogging is apparently a nice exercise for a writer, so I thought I'd give it a shot. And all I can say is I hope you enjoy my incessant ramblings, eh?

Here's to the beginning of an era!